Wow! I never thought I would discover someone who appreciates rats as much as I do. The only thing that concerns me is that you tagged your article as "satire"... The image of yourself with a rat sitting on your shoulder is an experience I too have had... Actually, usually two at once.
Perhaps you would be interested in reading my "true life" story about my experiences with rats. It is a recent Medium article, titled... My Penance
https://malamuteman.medium.com/my-penance-4bc518df18e6